In the market for a new submarine, sir? Uboat Worx have just the thing, the HP Sport Sub 2, and it won't set you back a penny over €1,000,000.
If you're a cold-hearted and filthy-rich member of "the 1 per cent", and read Tintin books as a child, you've probably longed ever since to have your own one-man sub, preferably in the shape of a shark.
Well put down that polo instruction manual and tell your man servant that your mid-morning grapes that he's spent the last hour peeling are no longer required. Your wait is over!
Dutch submersible vendor U-Boat Worx have a new undersea craft that ticks both the Tintin sub boxes, apart from the one about it being shark-shaped. It's more like a robot jellyfish.
The two-person/one-boy-plus-small-white-dog HP Sport Sub 2 is a "high-performance submersible ready to fit onboard any superyacht... from 30 metres and up", though more prosaically it can also be towed behind a car.U-Boat Worx describes it as a “subsea-Ferrari”, so maybe haul it behind your actual Ferrari.
Just 136cm high, with a 6.6 sq m footprint, and weighing 2,200kg, the beast canplunge down to 100 metres. And though it was designed principally not as a sub but to add extra fun to diving into your own personal sea that you have had made from poor childrens' tears, it will stay down there for up to six hours. You'll barely notice the time pass, thanks to luxury leather seats and air conditioning.
Latter-day Captain Nemo and U-Boat Worx founder Bert Houtmansays, "The design is attractive, but above all, safe and functional. We've adopted a very different look compared to traditional submersibles, but without compromising safety and ease of use, with the ability to easily board the craft at the surface, for example."
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U-Boat Worx, which has been researching and making personal subs since the 1980s, promises, "A modern and streamlined submersible with fantastic performance. Whether at the surface or underwater, its speed and maneuverability are exceptional." That's thanks to six thrusters, with the option of control from the surface or by the craft's "driver".
The HP Sport Sub 2 by U-Boat Worxcosts €1,000,000 - so no more than the price of a studio flat in Brixton - and that includes necessary training and certification. Low maintenance costs are promised, as well as 24/7 support. Production models are scheduled for delivery for the autumn of 2015. As oligarch toys go, it's hard to beat.
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Duncan is the former lifestyle editor of T3 and has been writing about tech for almost 15 years. He has covered everything from smartphones to headphones, TV to AC and air fryers to the movies of James Bond and obscure anime. His current brief is everything to do with the home and kitchen, which is good because he is an excellent cook, if he says so himself. He also covers cycling and ebikes – like over-using italics, this is another passion of his. In his long and varied lifestyle-tech career he is one of the few people to have been a fitness editor despite being unfit and a cars editor for not one but two websites, despite being unable to drive. He also has about 400 vacuum cleaners, and is possibly the UK's leading expert on cordless vacuum cleaners, despite being decidedly messy. A cricket fan for over 30 years, he also recently become T3's cricket editor, writing about how to stream obscure T20 tournaments, and turning out some typically no-nonsense opinions on the world's top teams and players.
Before T3, Duncan was a music and film reviewer, worked for a magazine about gambling that employed a surprisingly large number of convicted criminals, and then a magazine called Bizarre that was essentially like a cross between Reddit and DeviantArt, before the invention of the internet. There was also a lengthy period where he essentially wrote all of T3 magazine every month for about 3 years.
A broadcaster, raconteur and public speaker, Duncan used to be on telly loads, but an unfortunate incident put a stop to that, so he now largely contents himself with telling people, "I used to be on the TV, you know."